Laying it all out there...

Okay. Here goes...scary as it may be.

I'm done hiding from my debt. Ive been doing it for three years. I was irresponsible, immature, and I ran up a LOT of debt. I had about 9 credit cards. I bought NONSENSE. I now have NOTHING to show for it. Absolutely nothing. The aftermath of running up the debt wasn't (isn't) much better. I got the credit cards roughly two years ago. Summer of 2004. I went back to school at Niagara University, lasted about a month, and came home. I couldn't find a job (more like I wasn't barely even trying to find one) and therefor couldn't pay my tuition bill. At first I was paying my minimums. Eventually the money ran out and I stopped paying. I was living with my parents, and I didnt really even TRY to find a job. As more time went on, the more bills started to pile up, and still I did nothing. In February of 2005 I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I was discharged about 2 1/2 months in due to knee problems. Im able to reenlist if I so chose. I came home, and started babysitting my little brother(7) for no $. Thats the stipulation to me living here, and I have noplace else to go. I then started watching one of his friends, a little girl named Calista. I make $100 a week babysitting her. Its been over 2 years since I got home from the boot camp. Its been almost 3 years since I had an actual job. When I get paid every week, my money is gone fairly quickly. I dont even know what I do with it most times. Do I pay my bills? Nope, just my cell bill, and somehow thats almost always late. Im done doing this. Im done living like this. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be getting a car. a 1998 Nissan Sentra. Im going to get a job (not just pretend to try this time) and Im going to pay off my bills. End of story. I could file bankruptcy, in fact the local CCS told me I should. Im not doing that. Im not going there. I got myself in this mess, and Its up to me to get myself out.

The next few weeks of babysitting $ are going to have to go to the car. Im going to have to keep some $ in the bank for gas and such.

Im going to get at least one job, preferably two. I cant work during the day on weekdays, because I'm required to be here. The kids are in school all day, but I cant get a job during that time because if they end up with a snow day or something, or one of them gets sick in school, I'm the one required to be here, I'm the one that has to pick them up from school.

So, weekday evenings, and weekends. Im going to do this. I dont have a choice. Im done copping out. Im done avoiding my responsibilities. Im going to hit this thing head on, and Im going to prove to EVERYONE, that I can do this.

So today marks a new start. A new beginning. A new me.

Cheers